"Hello.
I think I'm just drunk enough.
Look into my eyes and tell me what you see."

Square pale brown eyes, shy, vulnerable, wanting to blink, framed by a long straight greasy fringe. The whites and surrounding skin seem tinted with charcoal, but it is an illusion. A hesitant smile, and the eyes look away almost at once. He snaps his head up and to the right and with a slight change of posture his eyes disappear behind his hair.

"I was in school once. And I was a drummer in a band. We drank bourbon in the practice rooms. We took showers in the dancers' changing rooms. Don't you wish I'd had a shower now? Tough. I remember those rooms. They were big and warm and I could turn on all the taps, until the whole room became a fountain. That was a long time ago.

"I rented a basement before that. It was wet, too. There was an inch of water on the floor because the pipes leaked. The landlady was crazy. I can see you smirking, but she really was. She paid her kids to pound on the floor. She'd set alarm clocks to ring every hour, all night long. I know I woke her up, yelling. But I was under siege, and there were attacks. They were just beginning then.

"They can get to you through your eyes. You should be more careful. You looked right at me just then, and you aren't even drunk. They first started to attack by sending rays into my eyes via the doorknobs. They look innocent enough, don't they - round and shiny? You don't know how dangerous they are. My girlfriend used to knit covers for them, then glue wool God's Eyes over the covers. Yeah, I had a girlfriend. People said that if you had a God's Eye, the evil spirits would get caught and lost in the threads. But They got out soon enough.

"They soon came at me from the corners, too. They sent beams through right angles. They were getting stronger. My girlfriend filed the corners of the furniture round and put paper circles over the places where the walls met the corners of the ceiling. It didn't work for long, because They learned. Corners were portals to Them, and They could quickly come to overpower paper and wool.

"The pain was incredible. You would have screamed, too. Anybody would have. All those beams just kept entering my eyes. The pain built in my head until I had to scream. Sometimes, if I shouted, some of it would go away until it built up again. Or sometimes I just hit my head until it was gone. They were torturing me, trying to take over my mind.

"Sometimes I tried to escape, running up the railroad tracks in the snow. They can't get you if you are on a special road. You are protected. I remember my girlfriend coming after me calling and carrying my boots and coat. I only wanted a place to hide, or maybe die. But I think it was only Them, driving me towards evil, trying to destroy me.

"It was impossible. The landlady was crazy, and we had to leave. But we had no money and nowhere to go. Sometimes we could hide in the school until the lights were off and everyone had left. Then we could use the showers. Sometimes we could break into another school nearby. We'd climb in through the roof and cook Kraft Dinner in the coffee urns. Sometimes we'd hide in the malls until they closed and then walk around in the dark with the mirrors. We could take coins out of the fountains with a magnet. But usually there were guards there. We had to find places indoors, or we would have frozen. And we had to hide because the cops would have arrested us if they had found us. Sure, it wasn't good. But what would you do, if it was sub-zero at night and everything was closed?

"I remember one night we were sleeping in an Instant-Teller room with our suitcases. It was hard to sleep and there were corners everywhere, but eventually we were so exhausted there was nothing we could do. We kept half an ear ready listening for the cops while we slept. Later I found myself on my feet without knowing I had woken up. There were sirens going off and there was a security guard blocking the door. I clawed at the bank machine, but there was no way out. I thought: This is scary, and I opened my mouth to scream. I couldn't catch my breath, and I realised that I was already screaming, and that there were no sirens. The sound was my girlfriend and I screaming together on clashing notes.

"The security guard was startled too, but he was good about it. He took us to a youth shelter, but they wouldn't let us in. We drove around with him and he finally took us to an all-night doughnut shop. We weren't allowed to go to sleep, but at least it was warm. And at least they let us stay there, because we weren't exactly buying any doughnuts.

"We ate at the university. You'd be amazed at the things people throw away. Once we found a whole cucumber, wrapped in plastic. We made soup with ketchup, relish packets and those cubes of noodles. They are almost free, and we got hot water from the cafeteria.

"Strangely, we were still able to drink. We had nowhere to go and nothing to eat, but we always had lots of liquor. Maybe the guys in the band gave it to us. I needed to drink, though. It protects me for a little while, even now. That's why I can tell you this. They can't get to me when I'm drunk. Or even spy on me.

"I remember once after band practice we were at a bus stop, drinking straight bourbon from a bottle in a brown bag. We'd actually managed to buy it somehow. Then there was a cop laughing at us. He took our Jim Beam and held it up: I'm not going to arrest you this time, now run along home. He smashed the bottle on the pavement right in front of us. It was all we had, and we didn't even have food. We could get on the bus, though. We had transit passes, and we could ride the busses until midnight, and even sleep.

"Things started to get bad, though. You know, I really had a girlfriend once. Really. But They started to use her to get at me. I noticed at first because They were controlling her - making her talk at the wrong times. They were trying to confuse me and throw me off. You know how timing works. I say something, and you say something. Well, I know I am talking here, but I am drunk. I mean normally. Anyway, there are little pauses between our talking. It has a beat. And this really affects us. If the pauses are right, you never notice it. But if they're wrong, they can really mess up your thoughts. Your whole day can be thrown off. That's what she started doing to me.

"To break the timing pattern, I had to shout at her. She wouldn't try to fix it, because They were using her. They learned how to use her eyes, too. Eyes are the most vulnerable part of you. They made her shoot beams from her eyes that would cross my path of vision. The beams then shot from that point right into my eyes. That's all they need - a pathway that goes from a place They control to your eyes.

"The last night I was with her, we were on the fire escape that led to the roof of the school. I turned around, and her eyes were crossing me. I had to stop her, and I really tried to, but we both fell off the fire escape into the bushes, and she ran away when I lost my glasses. I know I don't have glasses now, but I don't need to see well anymore. It's for my own protection. Glass amplifies Their signals.

"Anyway, my girlfriend left me. I still can't believe she did it. I trusted her. She was a friend too, not just a girlfriend. They were using her, but if she had been stronger she could have broken away. It was always easier for her. But maybe she was with Them all along, just making me think she was my friend.

"Things are better now. I learned to get Welfare.
What do you think?
Look into my eyes again and tell me if you see anything there - any darkness. I can't look at them myself, because the beams will feed back on themselves and short-circuit.
Will you buy me another drink?"